A Star Spangled Problem
by KittenSparrow
Summary: When Loki's shenanigans disrupts Toni's quest for the delicacies of Starbucks she takes out her frustration verbally against the God. The consequences end up being the out of body experience that may very well change her life. Steve Rogers/Captain AmericaXOC Rated M for language and adult situations


WARNING: References to other movies, video games, Loki Bashing and an extremely foul mouthed OC.

The streets of mid-town Manhattan were in utter and complete chaos of coarse that would probably be because the God of Chaos was behind the whole situation, cars flying threw the air, fire hydrants bursting and creatures that resembled Zenomorphs roomed the streets. The Zenomorph creatures scared me more than Loki though, I stayed hidden behind a car praying to whoever was listening that Loki didn't decide to use it as a weapon against the Avengers. "Fucking Zenomorphs, for real man. Where the hell are the Predators when you need them, mother fucking day wrecking Loki!" I mumbled trying not to give away my clever hiding place; who knew if these Zenomorphs had exceptional hearing "all I wanted was Starbucks; but no! You had to bring your leather wearing ass out and cause chaos" drool dripped down onto my shoulder, I looked up slowly to find one of the creatures on the roof of the car, I was scared stiff breath coming in short gasps, the creature jumped from the car landing in front of me, crouching down it's tail swaying lazily I gulped '_this is how I die_. _A fucking Zenomorph! Well it's beyond ordinary I guess. Fitting for a geek like me'_ "uh- nice kitty looking thing" I pushed further back into the side of the car "y-you wouldn't want to devoir little ol' me. I have so much sugar in my blood you'll be a diabetic" of coarse I would crack a dumb ass joke at a time like this. A growl emanated from the creature; I scrunched my eyes closed awaiting my untimely doom. The sound of something slicing through skin, some kind of gooey substance splattered all over me but no burning, perhaps they didn't have acid blood. I cracked an eye open my glasses and clothes covered in green goo "eww" plucked the glasses from my face "ma'am you need to get to safety" good ol' Captain America rushed to my side heaving me to my feet, anger grew in me I ignored the Captain turning to look at Loki who was enjoying the show "Fuck you! You Fucking Fuck from Fucking space!" I shouted at him unfortunately gaining his attention; not really what I was planning to do. Loki raised his glow stick of might pointing it directly at me, within minutes I found myself shielded by Captain America and his shield but again that just wasn't enough. Whatever spell Loki fired at me bounced off the Captain's shield went about two feet higher before slamming down beside us. I don't know what it was like for the Captain but for me it fucking hurt, it was like a million bolts of pure electricity cursing through my veins with twice the energy so yeah major pain going on. It didn't last for too long though after it stopped I fell to my side welcoming the darkness.

I felt so groggy like I had been playing Diablo III online for four days straight without sleep, what had happened? I opened my eyes seeing that I was on a medical bed, really what the fuck happened? Think Toni think; okay left the house going to get some Starbucks, Loki appearing out of thin air like Houdini.. Loki! That horse fucking asshole did something to me! I sat up realizing exactly what he did, I looked at my now large and manly hands, my now boobless chest now chiseled with muscles I gulped daring a glance around the room finding the bed beside me occupied I removed the covers, stood and walked rather clumsily to the neighboring bed; there it was my body laying before be free of green goo and in one of those silly hospital gowns with no ass, thankfully though nothing serious; besides the obvious, was wrong with it "Hey, Cap. Nice to see you up and about and doing well" someone spoke behind me I turned to see it was Tony Stark I looked back to my body "you'd like to think that wouldn't you?" I spoke calmly, freaking out would not make this any easier to deal with. What ever _this_ was. "Something wrong Cap?" Tony asked sounding worried now "everything is wrong. That leather-clad dumbass did something. I am not Captain America" I looked back to my body "I'm her."

I stood at the edge of the bed still looking down at my body "we're going to do everything we can to find Loki and figure out how to reverse this" Bruce spoke checking my bodies vital signs, "this is my fault" I sighed pinching the nose of Captain America, fan girls around the world would die to be in my place, "that's not true" Bruce said checking the pulse "yes it is Doc. You could ask anyone. I lost my temper and basically painted a target on my forehead" "people loose there tempers everyday, mistakes happen be thankful your not dead." I sighed again "how long until h-sh-they wake up?" I fumbled trying to find the words "I really couldn't say" Bruce replied with a sigh "we don't even know if he was transferred" "well I think I could help with this problem" I said out loud deep in thought "how so?" Bruce quirked an eyebrow, I stepped to the other side opposite Bruce and gave one of my bodies nipples a hard pinch, needless to say it was now confirmed that Steve did in fact transfer, and I really had wonder if I actually screamed like that.

"Wh-where am I? Why can't I see?" she blinked rapidly "oh right. Dr. Banner did someone happen to pick up my glasses?" Bruce handed me the now goo free specs that I placed on her face, she looked from me to Bruce then back "is this a test?" "nope" I scoffed putting a lot of emphases at the end "Steve it appears that Loki switched you and Toni here, we're doing what we can to locate him" Bruce explained "so Doc what happens now. I mean I really don't want to be walking around in public looking like Captain America; jeez fan girls; fan girls everywhere! It would be a nightmare" I exclaimed "well it's been decided that for the time that you two are like this, you will stay here in the Tower Toni; Steve obviously Captain America is benched until further notice" Bruce replied, she went to object "that's an order from Fury; Steve" she closed her mouth "I would however like to go to my place to get some clothes, I don't want everyone starring at my bodies naked ass" I said smoothly the comment causing a blush on her cheeks.

Toni {everyone decided it would just be less of a headache to refer to each body by its name. So I was Steve and Steve was Toni} entered the kitchen looking very uncomfortable "geez there huge" Tony chuckled "they real?" he glanced at me "Stark!" Toni exclaimed "yup" I replied casually once again Toni blushed, not meeting anyone's eyes as she took a seat and fixed a plate of breakfast. "So Toni, the one that is in Steve's body; what do you do for a living?" Clint asked, "I own an Internet Cafe along the Turtle Bay strip, I'm also extremely skilled with computers, cooking and game design" I replied "got any mad hacker skills?" Tony asked, "I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it may incriminate me."

I was now stuck with the Avenger Tower for three months now, sometimes I even forgot that I was actually a girl. One day Peter and Clint asked me if I wanted to join them in a game of Mario Kart the gamer in me couldn't resist. And it had been quite a show, I was in fact a competitive and talkative gamer which is why we now had an audience. "Suck my star spangled dick mother fuckers! I'm gonna beat you guys so hard, your children will shit mushrooms" I exclaimed completely oblivious to the stares I was getting or the beet redness on Toni's cheeks "did you just fucking blue shell me?" "yup" came the cold reply from Clint, I still won and everyone decided it was best not to let me play competitive multiplayer games, for the sake of the actual Steve.

The call finally came in Loki was causing mischief downtown and the Avengers safe Captain America, set out on a mission. So millions of dollars in collateral damage and one Tony Stark with a broken arm and Loki was secured on the Hallicarrier, everyone including me were summoned for a debriefing "why exactly am I here?" I mumbled into my arms afraid to lift my head "are-are you afraid of heights?" someone I think it was Bruce asked, "I'm afraid of flying. There's a difference" "okay everyone" Fury entered the room "here's the thing. Loki has refused to speak to anyone except for you" I hesitated to look up but did it anyway and everyone was starring at me, I groaned letting my head fall again "why the actual fuck would he want to talk to me?" I spoke "who knows, all we do know is he wants to talk to you and alone unwatched." "You don't have to worry if Loki does anything, Thor will know and be down there in seconds" Toni spoke next to me placing a hand on my shoulder "fine I'll do it" I caved in.

The walk down to Loki's cell was long and tiring but at least there were no windows that was somewhat of a relief, Thor led the way; we stopped outside of a large door "this is as far as I can join you. But I will know if my brother attempts any trickery" he comforted me "okay" I breathed "I can do this. . what ever it is" I walked through the now open door, it was a large no huge circular chamber with another chamber in the center made of what I presumed was unbreakable even for Loki, glass I took another breath stepping down the first set of stairs leading down to the ground floor. Loki was casually pacing hands clasped behind his back, I stepped up to the front of the cell casually waiting for him to notice me; he finally stopped smirking as he turned to face me "how do you far mortal woman?" he asked in a silky yet frightening tone, though I wasn't up for games I wanted answers as to how to get back to my body "how do I reverse this?" I asked patently, his smile widened chuckling "what's the matter mortal woman, don't feel like exchanging words with me?" he tilted his head "not precisely. I just want to know how to fix this" I shrugged "The answer is quite simple really" he walked closer I stepped back "anything that is simple to you is bound to be bad" I spat "my. My you have a fiery spirit" he chuckled "the way, the only way for you reverse my spell is for you and the good captain to lay together" "SEX! The only way to fix this is sex?" I shrieked "precisely" Loki purred "what the fuck is the point of that spell?" "for fun" Loki shrugged, "that's disgusting" I growled "not my problem" "asshole" I mumbled striding away "do give my regards to the good captain" Loki laughed before reaching the door where Thor waited I flipped Loki the birdie.

I marched into the room where everyone was waiting Thor followed soon after "well?" Fury asked first "you're not going to like it" I mumbled looking at the ground my fear of flying having nothing to do with it "just tell us! What ever it is we can do it" Toni stood now "We need to have sex to fix this;" I blurted out. Tony was having serious issues holding back his laughter, Bruce looked lost, Clint, Natasha and Fury looked calm cool and collected; Toni sat back down and it looked like she may have fainted and Thor looked confused. I took a breath "Loki said the only way for the spell to be reversed is for me and him" I motioned to the fainted Toni "to 'lay together'" I stated, "what kind of spell is that?" Bruce raised an eyebrow "one that is meant for 'fun.'"

I carried Toni to the jet that was taking us back to the Avenger Tower "geez do you really faint that easy?" Clint asked sitting next to me "no. I think the Steve in there got a little too embarrassed and my body couldn't handle it" I shrugged "so what are you going to do?" "What else is there to do? Neither of us are comfortable with it, but it's the only way." After we arrived at the Avenger Tower, Toni having woke up dazed and I led her down to the garage where my car was, after of coarse I gave a death threat to Tony if he ever brought this up. "Where are we going?" Toni asked strapping herself in the passenger seat of my Yellow with black race stripes 2007 Chevy Camaro "my place. I don't know about you but I really do not trust Stark or Jarvis for that matter" I replied rolling up the heavy tinted windows, the last thing I needed was to be chased by fan girls "are we really doing this?" she asked quietly "listen Steve I know you're the kind of guy that wants to wait for marriage and all, which I have no problem with I feel the same way. But right now the World needs Captain America as himself. Trust me this is as weird for me as it is for you. We'll take it slow" I pulled onto the street. We drove in silence for a while before Toni spoke again "so you've never.." "nope. It's kinda hard for a geek like me to find that special someone" "what kind of guy are you looking for?" I gave a laugh " I don't really have a 'type' I just don't want a guy that weighs 400 pounds and lives in his parents garage" "what about you? You got a type of girl?" "I don't have a type either just preferences." "Like what?" "Intelligent and artistic, patent, caring. Someone I can relate to yet be different" she replied, I hoped I wasn't blushing because it had just occurred to me that I did have a type; strong yet gentle, I find art sexy so that is a plus, tall blonde hair, blue eyes. Knows what to do when a situation goes bad _everything_ Steve. I wonder if he felt it as well.

I pulled around the back of my café it was closed today so there would be no problems. I unlocked the door holding it open for Toni she stepped past with a 'thank you' I closed and locked the door setting the alarm turning around to see Toni standing at the exhibit wall in aw "these drawings are incredible" she breathed "who did them?" she looked at me, I blushed slightly scratching my neck "uh. Well I did say I was skilled in game design and a big requirement for game design is drawing" I replied "you did these?!" "well yeah" I chuckled, She looked closer at one of the drawings "is that. ." "yeah. Hell of a day that was. But I was kind of glad to be stuck in the middle of it all" I stepped next to her looking at the drawing I did of the first Battle the Avengers took place in, they stood circled as a crowd of Chitari howled in anger. "This is half of it. My best work is upstairs" she followed me up the staircase leading to my apartment, now slightly at ease. I opened the door to be greeted "Nice to see you home ma'am" "who was that?" Toni looked around "oh right sorry I forgot. That was my AI, kind of like Jarvis only not as advanced" "hi E.T" "Extraterrestrial?" Toni asked, "no. Entertainment Technology. E.T simply has access to any music source known I like to work with music, the whole talking bit was just an added bonus because sometimes I need someone to talk to" I laughed "the rest of my work is this way. Though just to warn you a lot of my work is of the Avengers" 'more Captain America than any' I added silently. I flipped the lights on for my personal art gallery each piece framed and displayed signed and dated "so many" Toni walked around the room taking the time to study each piece "are you an artist as well Steve?" I asked "yeah" she smiled "but I mostly do landscape or still life" "how do you get everything just so perfect?" she looked at me "I have a photographic memory, it's really handy to remember everything that you see or even hear" I shrugged "so would you like to watch a movie or something?" I asked keeping to my word things would be taken at a slow pace "sure. What do you have in mind?" I thought for a moment "Have you seen Titanic yet?" "no. But I've been wanting to" "okay then. Set Coarse to the Living room Captain!" I exclaimed playfully shutting out the light before leading the way. I started the movie Toni sitting, fidgeting slightly, on one side me on the other popcorn between us; as the movie progressed the popcorn bowl, now empty, found its way to the coffee table and Toni slowly inched closer until she cuddled against me I draped my arm over her; two romantic saps Ahoy! We came to the part where Jack was drawing Rose when the movie paused I looked down at Toni who was holding the remote, she was biting her lip "something wrong?" I asked "just thinking" she mumbled "what will happen after all this is done and over. When everything is fixed?" I smiled "what would you like to happen?" "I-I'm not sure. I mean I like you Toni a lot" "I like you too Steve" I said "though not in the creepy fan girl way" I chuckled, my chuckle was cut short by lips clashing with mine in a soft slow motion her fingers tangled through my hair I clasped her hips massaging in small circles, she moaned into the kiss; it was my body so of coarse I knew the sweet spots. She pulled away but kept her fingers through my hair a blush creeping on her face and her pupils large with lust "are you sure?" I asked the question to her unspoken request she nodded, I turned off the T.V and DVD player lifting her into my arms bridal style continuing the kiss as I walked to the bedroom.

I laid her on the bed she seemed unsure again "it's okay" I kneeled over her "I said we would take this slow and we will" I moved back into a more intimate kiss, licking her bottom lip slowly asking for entrance, I moved my tongue in slowly massaging hers; foreplay to calm the nerves. I moved down to her neck placing open-mouthed kisses E.T's mood sensors took charge and began to play soft music, 'Song Bird' by Kenny G filled the room, she tensed up again as I drew my hand under her shirt "it's okay, I'm not going to hurt you. But you have to relax okay; trust me" "h-how is it you know what your doing?" she breathed "I've studied in school" I smiled "relax" I soothed massaging small circles on her hip again the body beneath me slowly relaxed. I was now longer Toni Greene in Steve Rodgers body for the time I was just Steve Rodgers it seemed to make things easier.

We were now skin on skin doing nothing more than kissing I reached into the bedside table for a long lost tube of lube that I really can't remember why the hell I bought it. I lubed up one finger rubbing small circles along the lips before slowly inserting, she tensed biting her lip "relax, it won't hurt as much" I soothed stopping until she relaxed again I continued. Three fingers slowly going in and out, scissoring making sure that it wouldn't hurt when it came time for intercourse because it wasn't small, she was moaning beneath me "better?" she nodded, I removed the fingers she let out a whine, I grabbed the lube again slicking up the cock before positioning myself over her "let me know if it hurts okay" I brushed a lock of chestnut hair from her face she nodded again I pushed in slowly letting her get used to the feeling until I was fully in her she let out a gasp "you okay?" I asked worried "'s good" she breathed opening her eyes for the first time since we started and smiled "I'm okay" "okay" I smiled back. Within minutes I was sliding in and out with ease at a slow pace "f-faster" she panted "you sure?" she nodded I picked up the pace gaining the most beautiful noises from both of us, she tightened around me with a scream bringing on my own climax. I fell next to her breathing deeply pulling her close to me as we came down from the shared high of sexual bliss "I love you" I whispered kissing her forehead "I love you too."

I blinked my eyes open, I didn't even know I had fallen asleep; and wasn't I on the other side of the bed? Arms held me close muscular arms; I looked down with a smile, things were as they should be I was me and he was Steve, we were we and we were completely in love. I sighed in content drawing myself closer into his warm body and couldn't help but to wonder if I should thank Loki.

**FIN**

**A/N Just an f.y.i the whole bit with Steve playing the game having a bad mouth and everything. Totally got that from a comic strip I found online. NOT MY WORK. If anyone knows the creator let me know and I'll credit them. THX :D**


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